Teddi Mellencamp opened up about her and husband Edwin Arroyave‘s marital hardships on one of the latest episodes of her podcast.
Before dishing on Dorit Kemsley‘s drama at the Buying Beverly Hills premiere earlier this month and sharing a major regret from her time on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teddi revealed that she and Edwin reached a breakthrough at a marriage retreat after going years without resolving a key issue between them.
“When me and Edwin originally started on the show, we had gone through something pretty difficult and I just shut it down, any thought of processing through it, anything, because I just wanted to give the illusion that our life was perfect and everything was good,” Teddi admitted on the November 14 episode of Two Ts in a Pod. “And it is good. We’re great parents. We have fun together. It doesn’t mean that it’s bad. We just never put in the work to fix what was going on in our past and it’s one of my biggest regrets.”
Although Teddi didn’t disclose what the issue was, she said that while it was “something reparable,” it was also something that was changing her and weighing on her. So, after struggling for years, she and Edwin scheduled a marriage retreat.
“Right before we left for the marriage retreat, we went to [a] Patron event and the Patron event was great [but] at the end of the event, we got in this huge fight,” Teddi shared.
According to Teddi, she’ll negotiate but doesn’t like to fight. Instead, she’s made a habit of justifying certain behaviors as a means to cope.
“[I’m] like, ‘I’m going through cancer stuff, I’m dealing with this, I’m having this hard time and now you’re yelling at me,’” she recalled. “It was at the end of the Patron event.”
Both drunk, Teddi and Edwin couldn’t locate the key to their room, and amid their feud, they made a 24-minute call to Teddi’s father, musician John Mellencamp.
“That was the level of how bad the argument was. We were on speaker phone and my dad was like, ‘What the hell are you two doing? This is craziness. You drank too much at an event and now you’re trying to fight about things that happened eight years ago. Stop it. Get in your room,’” Teddi revealed, adding that the next day was “brutal.”
Luckily, after their heated night, Teddi and Edwin embarked on their marriage retreat, where they participated in tests, quizzes, and other activities and learned that Teddi is more of an introvert, and more insecure, than either of them realized — and thus needs more focus on “self-acceptance.”
“That’s where Edwin and I had like a true breakthrough where he looked at me and he’s like, ‘Is there something I’m doing where I’m not giving you what you need?’ And I’m like, ‘A million percent. I need kindness and warmth and love from you.’ And he’s like, ‘I would have no idea you needed those things,’” Teddi recounted.
Looking back, Teddi said she regrets not sharing her marital turmoil on RHOBH.
“I had a couple of women from the show that I still talk to but not as much as Kyle, text me, ‘Are you and Edwin okay?’ because I did [a] post. And those kind of questions, of course it comes from the heart and I know it’s with good intention, but also, you’re so scared to be vulnerable on the show sometimes because the other women will use your vulnerability as weakness,” Teddi explained. “If I could go back, I [would] just let it all play out and not try to keep up with the Joneses.”
Moving on to Dorit’s drama at the Buying Beverly Hills premiere, Teddi said things unraveled as they tried to leave and Dorit needed to use a restroom.
“I’m trying to leave. I’m like ‘Dorit, now!’ And she’s like, ‘I’m gonna go to the restroom.’ And there’s a security guard who doesn’t know who Dorit is and says, ‘There’s a VIP who needs to go to the restroom,’” Teddi shared. “So Dorit comes out all revved up, ‘We need to find the guy. We need to find who the VIP is.’ So we spent another 30 minutes searching for who wouldn’t let Dorit go to the bathroom.”
Also during the podcast, Teddi responded to a question from a fan, who wanted to know if she’d return to RHOBH if the offer was great enough.
“It doesn’t exist [to] get a huge offer [after] you’ve been fired,” Teddi replied. “You’re gonna get whatever offer you left on. You’re gonna get that next season offer.”
But for Teddi, a return to RHOBH wouldn’t be about the money.
“A year ago, I would’ve said 100 percent no, all I want is [Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip]. As my dad likes to say, ‘Close your legs.’ He’s like, ‘You need to play hard to get,’” Teddi revealed.
However, after watching the drama of RHOBH season 12, much of which happened off-camera, Teddi said she’d come back “because there are things I couldn’t really say before now that I would change.”
“When I started the show, I was a shell of a human being because of what was going on. And then I went into a group of women who… If you show a sign of weakness, it’s pathetic. And I wish I would’ve shown my weakness instead of trying to measure up to their strength,” she confessed.